And Everybody’s Happy

“Whenever I’m in the kitchen, everyone leaves. They pray, and then we order in.”

What You See is What You Eat

“The only sea food I know is – see the food, eat the food.”

It’s All in the Spelling (and Context)

“Now it’s a game of catchup, and not the condiment.”

What You Can Learn on Worst Cooks in America

“Fish don’t have eyelids.”

It’s Not What You’re Thinking

“Every stay-at-home Mom needs a blow torch.”

That’s Why Corn Has Ears

“I like talking to my food. I mean, how does it know what you want it to do if you don’t tell it.”

My Secret Ingredient is Cinnamon

“I’m definitely going to have to whip out my secret ingredient, which is me.”

Left-handed People Can’t Cut Vegetables?

“I’m left handed and I have a lazy eye. How can anyone expect me to cut a vegetable properly?”