Let’s Get Literal

“I’d like to say something warm and gracious. Good gracious, it’s warm in here.”

I Liked Your Shoes

“If I had to do the perfume challenge all over again, I wouldn’t change anything – except my shoes.”

What about Australia?

“If I could be 1/10 as smart as he is I could rule a small continent.”

I Respect Oddballs

“I respect Beverly as a chef. I respect Beverly as a person. Is she an odd ball? Yea.”

What Will You Be at Midnight?

“She makes me sad and angry. Sad because it’s 11:30, and angry because she’s still talking.”

Does That Make Me Shallow?

“I hate purses that are deeper than I am.”

You’re a Good Actress

“A good wife would go home to her husband, but a good actress would go out to eat with her friends.”

You Can Say That Again

“She has good intentions, she just doesn’t know what to do with them.”

I Love Animals Too

“I love kids just as much as the next guy – if the next guy were W.C. Fields.”

Jekyll & Hyde

“When he becomes Hyde he has three main needs: sex, murder, and rewriting someone else’s songs.”