I Say Things That Are

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“Why do I say things that aren’t.”

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I Think You Mean the Loo

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“Do the Brits call the bathroom the ‘louvre’ because they don’t like the French?”

What You Can Learn on Worst Cooks in America

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“Fish don’t have eyelids.”

I Thought it Was Sinatra

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“Chimichangas – the universal unifier.”

So, It is Something to Write Home About

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“This restaurant is so good, I’m going to write home about it.”

Because You Always Do (But I Love You Anyway)

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“I was watching these extras in a movie, and then I thought about me… Well, of course I thought about me.”

Hehe

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“How many software developers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. It’s a hardware problem.”

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