Ignoring

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“I’m lightheaded today, so please ignore everything I say because it’s probably irrational.”

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A Little Anthropomorphism

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“I think my computer has narcolepsy; it’s always going to sleep.”

Analyze This

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“I go to Narcissists Anonymous, but I never get the chance to talk.”

Yes, it Is

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“Appearing less lame is always a good thing.”

You Assume Correctly

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“I would assume they’re identical because they’re exactly the same.”

Passing the Buck

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“I didn’t run in to any problems because Michael did most of the work.”

Cliche Gone Wrong

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“I don’t want to shake the boat.”

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