I Wish Every Reality TV Personality Took that Mantra to Heart

“Don’t yell on TV.”

You’re Right

“I’m not an actress, I just play one on TV.”

Waiting to Get That Big Check

“TV’s a lot of waiting. Waiting to hear if you get the job. Waiting to hear if the pilot’s been picked up. Waiting to hear how many it’s going to be. Waiting to see if you’re going to get renewed.”

And So It Begins

“People say that TV rots your brain. Well, I’ve been watching TV since I was a little kid, and there was this boy that I really liked, but he didn’t even know I was alive, and then there was this bomb scare and it was chaotic everywhere and I just couldn’t stop giggling, it was so funny, and… what were we talking about?”