At Least We’re Balanced

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“We’re only as consistent as we are inconsistent.”

It’s Called Changing the Subject

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“I might have interrupted myself.”

Better than the Opposite

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“I’m so far ahead I thought I was behind.”

Good Philosophy

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“I am not worried about your grass being greener anymore because I am so busy over here tending to my own garden.”

Get Better Soon

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“You know what the weather’s been like lately? Well, I’ve been under it.”

Logic of a Mathematician

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“If Amanda wins the Nerd-off instead of me, and she beat Colby, I’d feel like a huge wuss. If Amanda goes in and loses, I will never be able to look at myself in a mirror. But if, you know, I make $100,000, maybe I could just buy myself a new mirror.”

Sorry, Tim Gunn

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“It’s not enough to make it work, you have to make it happen.”

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